2012-01-18 / 7:35 p.m.

Watching basketball and making googly eyes at Nick Collison. He's kind of adorable and a hell of a ball player.

Just saw the 4th update in a month from a Facrbook friend declaring her second pregnancy. I felt a slight twinge of anger and frustration.

I haven't even had one.

It's like at 25 something changed. Something inside of me almost NEEDS to be a mother. I don't understand this longing. I've never had interest before and literally my 25th birthday I woke up with the baby fever. I want this to stop, but the fire only seems to consume me more each day.

And my hubby has no interest in this. Catch 22.